Lost (Byakuya Kuchiki)
by MinSugaSwag1993
Summary: The princess of Soul Society's greatest ally has returned! That should be great, shouldn't it? There's just one problem. She doesn't remember anything. The Roiyaru Kage are furious, especially when the Lost Princess doesn't want to return to the strange land she knows nothing about. Join Kyiomi as she decides whether she wants to find herself or if she will walk away and start over
1. chapter 1

We had been at war for almost twenty-four hours with the Tsukishima Clan and neither side was winning. No one was gaining ground - my people refused to allow them any closer to our palace than they had already gotten - and everyone was exhausted.

My bloodlust was fading while fatigue and a persistent ache crept into my muscles. I had a moment to look around and I took it. All around Kage no Ryōiki people were battling. In the few seconds I had to look around I saw four opposing soldiers fall and two of my own. Blood saturated the ground and the stench of death permeated the air. My once beautiful realm was turning into the tomb of hundreds of people.

My thoughts were pulled back to the scene at hand when I heard a heart stopping roar errupt in the sky. I looked up in time to see Tamako close her gaping maw, terminating her magnificent display of blue fire.

Her translucent pale blue wings and saphire scales temporarily blocked out the already fading sunlight as she passed overhead. I saw her blood red eye glaring at the armies below her and what seemed to be a smile.

You've woken me up, Hime-sama, She purred in my mind.

I couldn't help the grin that fell on my lips. Maybe that was the plan, I responded teasingly. She sent me a feeling of amusement before spewing out more flames.

In actuality, I felt sorry for the opposing army. She had eggs in her nest on top of the South Mountain to look after, and she didn't appreciate being pulled from them.

Well, it's too late now, I told myself.

I was approached by a group of Tsukishima soldiers at that moment. I lifted my glittering black blade high in defense as the first swung at me.

The leader of the group was wearing a black uniform with red trim, his red hood pulled away from his head. His underlings were wearing the standard black leather uniforms of their people.

I looked into his eyes and they were dead. Someone else was controlling these men.

The four remaining soldiers had formed a semi circle behind me. Their mouths were moving but I heard nothing. I suddenly realized, I could not hear anything. Panick bloomed in my chest. I fought to push it down as it wouldn't help me now.

The ground beneath my feet pitched and I landed hard on my back dropping my sword, but the soldiers didn't seem fazed at all, they just continued their silent chant without taking their eyes off of me. The ground continued shaking under my back unrelentlesly. I wanted to close my eyes against the dizziness I was beginning to feel, but I knew if I looked away from them I would be attacked.

All at once my hearing came back. I heard people shouting for me, crying my name. "Kyiomi! Hime-sama!"

I couldn't find my tongue so I tried for my blade instead. I had almost reached it when a shined black boot stepped hard on my wrist. I gritted my teeth against the groan threatening to escape. The man was unhappy with this, causing him to apply more pressure. He was rewarded with the snap of my wrist. I couldn't help but cry out this time.

A new man was suddenly kneeling at my side with a smirk on his lips. His uniform was the opposite of the leader, with a black trim on red. He pushed the foot off my wrist "Now now Garreth, play nice with the little princess." The last word was sneered.

I scoweled as he caressed my cheek. Using my left unbroken wrist I hit his hand away.

A soldier jumped forward and pinned my wrist to the ground while the man in red clicked his tongue. "I love it when they fight," he murmured.

"You're sick," I spat between clenched teeth. He said nothing in response but he locked his gaze with mine.

His eyes never left mine when he said, "Open the portal, there's nothing here for us anymore."

"No!" I screamed. I tried to fight them off, but with one hand and no sword against six men I hardly had a shot. I'm not sure if I would call it luck, but I got my hand away and managed to hit the first leader in the stomach. In return I was pulled to my feet and slapped hard across the face.

"Stupid bitch!" He sputtered, sticking something into my arm. Within a matter of seconds I was asleep.

When I came to, I had no idea where I was. I felt like I was floating with no sense of time. Panic was once again blooming in my chest.

I tried to move, to look around, but all I found was that I could feel nothing except pain. My wrist was throbbing painfully as well as my cheek and I felt nauseous. I finally let my eyes close. Almost as soon as I did there was a bright light that just kept getting brighter. I couldn't escape it.

I felt something slide around my waist and pull me forward gently. The light was gone and everything went completely black. Slowly my vision came back to me. To my horror I was in an almost empty room with the Red Captain from before.

The only things in the room were a large white bed, a black square table and a crimson rug.

I was standing to his right side with his arm was still around my waist. He curled it around so I was standing in front of him. My heart was pounding hard against my chest.

"You've never been in this position before, have you Kyiomi?" He sneered. I didn't answer. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I was afraid. I'd had men attack me before, but never had I been unable to protect myself.

"Your silence answers me just as well as if you'd told me with words. I promise you, I'll try and make this as painless as possible for you." He whispered in my ear.

I gritted my teeth. What do I do? I don't know where I am, and even if I did I'm surrounded by his lifeless men! How the hell can I get out of this alive?

He moved his arm so it was holding my left to my body and laid his head on my shoulder, breathing down my neck. I instinctively tried to pull away making him chuckle. He leaned forward and began kissing between my neck and shoulder.

"Admit it. Deep down, you're excited for this."

"Why did you bring me here? This can't be the only reason, so what do you want from me?" I demanded.

"I want to make you and your family suffer the way my family did." He stated.

"My family wouldn't do this to anyone!" I cried.

"Oh, but they would. Your uncle Tameron stole my sister from her bed, had his way with her, and killed her." He hissed. I felt the blood drain from my face.

I'm going to die here no matter what else happens. Tears pricked my eyes but I pushed them back. I accepted that I would die, but I wouldn't let him use this to hurt my family more than it already would.

"I suppose that's a little untrue. Your family will hurt so much more than mine as I won't be killing you in the end." He whispered against my skin. As he finished speaking he shunpoed to the bed and threw me down.

He bent down to graze my neck with his teeth before forcing my clothes off. As the night went on things became less painful, but never did it become pleasant. I wasn't sure how much time had passed before he left me alone to fall asleep.

When I awoke the next morning it was hard to move. There were bruises blooming all around my body and I was incredibly sore. The strange thing was, he healed my wrist at some point in the night.

I looked towards the table and saw a piece of folded up parchment. My curiosity outruled my pain. I crawled across the bed and opened it up.

"Standing outside the door there is a servant waiting to bring you clothes. Let her know when you are ready and she will lead you to the meeting room." I read out loud.

She must have heard me because she walked in. I remembered I was still undressed but she didn't seem to mind. Of course not, I thought dryly.

She said nothing as she stepped in front of me and handed me the bundle of clothes in her hands. Her eyes swept over my naked body then locked with mine.

"Do you need anything else Hime-sama?" She spat.

"No." My voice was raspy and it hurt to talk. Hatred for the nameless Captain filled my entire being. Without another word she turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door on her way.

I stood up causing pain to shoot up and down my entire body. I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass before I put on the clothes. There was a lacy royal purple set of underclothes and a beautiful off-the-shoulder dress of the same color that fell to the middle of my thigh. It had long sleeves the hung past my hands and was made of a soft material that I had no name for. There was no brush so my waist length raven hair was fairly knotted.

The servant walked back into the room then and shoved a brush into my hand and threw a pair if knee high wedge boots and socks near my feet.

"Make it quick so I don't have to babysit you anymore." She growled.

The Tsukishima clan really doesn't like me, I noted. Heritage really does mean a lot to some people.

I quickly brushed through my hair and put on the boots and realized, "Where is my zanpakuto?" She stared at me like I was an idiot.

"Do you really think you're getting it back?"

"No, but I want to know where Kumari is." I growled. That seemed to surprise her. What have they told her to make her think I'm some little girl who can't stand up for herself?

"She's in the Captain's room." I sighed and nodded. I had expected something like that.

"Let's go." She said. I nodded again.

She lead me down a series of complex halls that I would have gotten lost in had I been alone. I tried to converse a few times but she wouldn't go for it.

"What's your name?" I asked.

She didn't answer for a while so I thought I had failed again, but after a few minutes she answered, "Laurel." I smiled. It wasn't much, but it was something.

"That's a beautiful name." I whispered. The aura around her brightened. She sighed quietly and stopped walking.

"I'm so sorry." She sniffed. She had tears in her eyes.

"Why?" I asked honestly surprised.

"For everything. For how I've treated you. All my life I've heard how horrible my masters believed your people were, and now I know they were wrong. But maybe I can help you, at least a little now. I know what happened last night. And I know what they're going to do with you now." She said in a rushed whisper. I didn't know what to do. She could die if they found out, but I needed to know if I could do anything to get away. Luckily she continued without prompting.

"When he said he wasn't going to kill you in the end, he wasn't kidding. They are making a portal that they intend to force you through. No one knows where it will end, but I may be able to change it." She said, still rushed.

"They'll kill you if they find out." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm ready to atone for my sins," she smiled sadly.

"Thank you," I whispered and she hugged me.

We continued on our way. As we rounded the last bend she stopped and hugged me again.

"Be safe," she breathed. I didn't answer as I didn't really have a choice on how this went down, so I just smiled. We walked the last few steps to the large double iron doors and stepped inside. The moment the doors swung open my arms were grabbed by two Tsukishima soldiers. I fought the urge to pull away and again looked in their eyes. Just like the others, theirs were void of anything hinting at life.

They were completely in sync as they shoved me to the ground in front of the Nameless Red Captain. I looked up at him to see he was already staring at me fondly. He pulled me gently to my feet and kissed me. I jerked away and glared at him.

"It's a pity I have to do this to you," he murmured and his fist connected with my cheek bone. Pain radiated from the spot and my knees buckled. From there it only got worse as I was beaten from the ground by three men. My vision began blurring and darkening around the edges.

Finally they stopped and stepped back, staring down at me while the leader in black from yesterday stepped forward holding Kumari. I scoweled as his hand ran the length of her blade admiringly. He moved to stand over me, still caressing my blade.

"Oh well," He muttered, and ran the katana through my stomach earning a high pitched scream. A smile curled at his lips. My vision flickered as I tried, unsuccessfully, to hold on to consciousness. He grabbed my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. A searing pain ripped its way through my skull. The tang of blood was on my tongue. The pain was excruciating and endless. I couldn't bring myself to think about anything, like everything was gone.

I was yanked roughly to my feet. I looked around myself but I couldn't figure out where I was. A man stood before me dressed in a red uniform with black trim and a huge grin his face.

"Goodbye," he hissed darkly. Confusion swept through me as I tried to figure out who he was and why I was so tired and in so much pain. There was blood and bruises all over me.

Goodbye? I thought. What the hell is going on?

Before I could think anything else the floor disappeared from under my feet. I felt myself falling through the endless darkness not even being able to scream because of the pain. I was so tired and scared, I just wanted to sleep until it all went away.

I began seeing little flares of light around me, some turning into shapes and eventually whole scenes. Others turned into faces and full bodies, none of which looked at all familiar. The lights grew larger and larger until they were blinding me. I tried closing my eyes to no avail, it didn't dim the light at all.

The falling sensation came to an end and the light suddenly wasn't so blinding. I felt as though I was suspended in the air for a moment before a sharp pain ripped through my back, causing spots to dance across my vision.

I couldn't move, the pain was too extreme, so I looked around using only my eyes. There wasn't much to see. I was in a large crater with rounded sides four feet tall.

A woman with short black hair appeared over the edge. She stared at me for a long moment, a horrified look crossing her features before she cried "Nee-san!"


	2. Chapter 2

The girl that had appeared began crying for help.

"Nee-san, hang on!" She kept saying. Nee-san? I thought. I'm not her sister, I've never met this girl before.

"Rukia! What's wrong?" I strong male voice demanded.

"It's Kyiomi! She's alive but she's badly hurt. We need Unohana taicho." The girl named Rukia shouted. Now that she'd gotten someone's attention she jumped down into the crater, kneeling beside me.

"Unohana taicho will be here soon Nee-san, please hold on," she begged. As if she reminded me how tired I was, my eyelids drooped heavily.

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. Despite my lack of tolerance for strangers, I was too tired to pull away from her. I looked at my stomach and saw the blood flow was slowing down considerably. My heart was beating slowly and my vision was growing blurry. I still tasted blood on my tongue.

"Please stay awake," Rukia begged. I groaned in response. I felt a slight breeze and then a new presence. There was a woman kneeling opposite Rukia with long black hair braided under her chin. She had a motherly feel about her, but her face was very serious and worried. She was saying something that I couldn't understand. She was so quiet and her face was blurring away. I couldn't fight the sleepiness anymore, I let it take me.

My dreams were extremely vivid. The first was of me and the woman with braided hair, but I wasn't looking through my eyes, I was watching like an outsider. We had zanpakuto pointed at each other and we were both panting hard, sweating and bleeding. Her sword was a normal silver blade with a red hilt while mine was a black blade with a bright purple hilt.

Nothing about this dream felt right. This woman was helping me, why would we fight? I paused. Or, maybe she wasn't helping me, after all?

She confirmed my suspicion when she lunged forward and stuck her blade through my shoulder. I was surprised when I actually felt it. I gritted my teeth against the pain while my dream self jumped away from her and called something I didn't quiet catch, and the zanpakuto in my hands was enveloped in a black light.

As the light began dissipating I saw that I was left holding a decent sized black scythe with a carving of a moon in the middle. At a second glance I could see that the moon looks as if it were dripping some sort of liquid.

As soon as the last if the light disappeared, I yelled a new command. The tip of her scythe fell away and all surrounding shadows were pulled in around it. They swirled around each other and began forming a three dimensional shape. At first it just looked like a bubble, but it began taking the shape of a winged woman made completely of darkness. Her wings looked like they were once angel wings, but now were jagged and torn.

She stood with her back to my dream self, staring at her opponent.

I caught a glimpse of her face and what I saw gave me chills. She was beautiful, just like you would imagine an angel, but her eyes were a bloody red and she had crimson streaks from the corner of her eyes that disappeared under her collar. Her teeth looked like the could tear out someone's throat with ease. The tips of her hair looked like tiny black flames as they flicked around her. It looked like her hair was floating as if there were a breeze blowing around only her.

The dress she was wearing had a low neckline, showing a lot of skin. The sleeves were tight around the shoulders and flared at the elbows. The skirt ran all the way to the ground.

How the hell does she move in that thing? I wondered.

The shadow woman suddenly threw back her head and let out a blood curdling shriek. Holding out her hand, I saw the top of my blade. It grew into a scythe that perfectly matched my own.

She flash stepped to stand behind the opposing captain while the other me stood directly in front of her.

"I win," I whispered. But before our blades cut through her, everything disappeared and a new setting unfolded.

I was laying on a huge plush bed in a semi dark room. There was a soft, flickering light coming from a candle in the window.

The walls were pale versions of my violet and silver eyes with cherry blossoms made to look like they were raining down. It smelled like warm vanilla.

I stood up to look out the window. There was no moon tonight so I could see so many stars. It was absolutely amazing. There was a koi pond a few feet away and clusters of sakura trees dotting the yard.

I heard the door slide open urgently and spun around to see Rukia rush into the room with tears in her eyes.

"Nee-sama?" She whispered. My eyes widened and tears started flowing.

"Rukia!" I cried. We rushed into each other's arms and sank to the ground. We were both sobbing when a man appeared in the doorway with slate grey eyes and two sets of kenseikan in his shoulder length black hair.

I barely had time to look at him before this scene also evaporated. I woke up in a white room with medical monitors around me and tubes in my arms.

Sitting to my left were Rukia and the man from my last dream. Both were sleeping but I couldn't say they looked peaceful. It was at that moment that I remembered the first dream I'd had of Unohana. I started panicking.

I have to leave before she comes back, I thought. I ripped the tubes out of my arm and threw the blankets off. I stood up and looked at the wide open window. Taking the first step forward I realized how much my body still hurt, but I couldn't let that stop me. I glanced down to see I had been changed into a thin white shirt and baggy pants of the same material.

The crushing realization that I had no idea where I was or where to go hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart dropped. I quietly took a deep breath and decided to continue on anyways.

No matter what I can't stay here and wait for her to come back.

I painfully jumped over the windowsill and looked around myself. All I could really see was white buildings.

I searched carefully for any surrounding reiatsu, finding three powerful beings coming from the east and another who I guessed was the man in the room I'd just left. I didn't want anything to do with them so I headed west.

My shunpo was so slow I was barely staying ahead of the three beings behind me. I was growing frustrated.

How are they following me so easily? I hissed. I checked my reiatsu, but I was too weak for it to be up.

What is- But that's when the pain caught up with me. I groaned quietly to the night.

Well, I thought. It couldn't be the blood trail leading them my way, I groaned.

I clutched my stomach wound hoping to staunch the bleeding a little, and ran into the nearest building without checking for other people and collapsed.

"What do I do?" I asked aloud.

I curled up into a ball hoping to make the pain ease off. It helped a little, but when I heard footsteps outside of the door I tensed, causing painful spasms to run throughout my body.

"We have to find her. She's lost too much blood." Someone called. Unohana.

They tracked me so easily even in the dark. But, maybe they really are trying to help me?

I was at war with myself. The more I thought about the 'battle' the more sure I was that it was wrong. She wouldn't fight this hard to help me if she wanted me dead.

Would she?

No. Of course not. Why waste the resources?

Maybe it's all just an act for the others.

She seems so motherly though.

A muffled groaned escaped my lips. My head was throbbing along with my stomach.

I can't stay here like this, but I can't put my life in their hands. I don't know these people, I told myself sternly.

The dream about Rukia. That dream had felt right, like we belonged where ever we were.

Rukia! I exclaimed. I feel like I can trust her, but I don't know about everyone else. How many could there be? It doesn't matter right now, I can't leave until I'm healed.

With a sigh and used my remaining energy to flare my spiritual pressure, hoping they would find me.

"Did you feel that?" Someone demanded.

"She's in there!" Another voice shouted, sounding a little closer.

Rukia was the first to charge into the room with the man from my bedside right behind her. I noticed he was wearing a white haori similar to Unohana. They were both by my side in an instant. I made myself sit up so I was a little more even with them.

Finally getting a good look at his face, I felt as though my brain was trying to bring something up but it couldn't. The throb grew.

The look -rather, the lack thereof- on his face caught me off guard.

He kept his face blank, but his eyes couldn't hide the worry he hid so well everywhere else.

"Kyiomi! What were you thinking?" Rukia hissed as Unohana and another man, also in a white haori, shunpoed into the small dark room. During all of this, my eyes stayed locked with his.

"Kyiomi," the two newcomers sighed.

"Are you ready to go back now?" Unohana asked gently. I let my eyes slide to her for only a moment before bringing them back to his. Before I could answer, though, the pain in my skull became so sharp I couldn't breathe. I grasped my head with both hands and fell onto my back, a shriek ripped it's way through my teeth. A wordless gasp swept through the room.

It was over almost as quickly as it had begun. I let my arms wrap around my middle while I worked to catch my breath. After I could bring myself to open my eyes again I wished I hadn't. Everyone in the room was staring at me with similar pained expressions.

"We need to get her back to the barracks. Kuchiki taicho, if you would?" He nodded once before reaching out to me. I unwillingly flinched and his hands stopped moving.

That hurt him, I whispered to myself.

It took great effort to unfurl my arms from my bleeding torso and reach a hand out to him. Slowly and gently he lifted me into his arms. I let out a sharp gasp and clutched the front of his shihakusho hard enough to turn my knuckles white.

His right hand that was under my knees gave them a gentle squeeze, small enough that no one else would have seen it but enough that it felt comforting to me.

Wait what am I doing? I don't even know him, that didn't mean anything. I thought weakly, but even I didn't think it sounded convincing.

He doesn't know me but he's being so sweet.

Under everyone's noses. I added dryly.

When I let myself come back to reality we were walking back into the healing room. He moved to lay me down on the bed and walk away but I grabbed his hand without thinking and whispered, "please don't leave me." I felt tears stinging my eyes.

Upon hearing this, Rukia pulled a chair forward for him to sit. I flashed a genuine smile her way then locked eyes with him again. I barely noticed when captain Unohana started replacing the tubes in my arms.

"I must bandage the wound on your stomach Hime-sama." She stated. I broke eye contact to look around the room in confusion. When I realized she had to have been talking to me I nodded. Rukia stepped forward so she and Unohana could help me sit forward. I didn't anticipate so much pain.

A high pitched scream escaped my lips before I could bite it back. Once I was on my knees they helped me sit still for a moment so I could adjust as much as possible. I sat there panting and clenching my teeth.

At a nod of my head Rukia released my arm and peeled my bloody shirt from my wound, earning a new round of moans.

Unohana let go of my arm before Rukia had a hold of the other side, so when she let go just collapsed forward, wrapping my arms around myself. I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks. There was a gasp from everyone in the room.

Unohana carefully pulled me up by my shoulders and uncurled my arms, motioning for Rukia to hold me up again. The pain didn't fade in the slightest as she began wrapping the bandage around me.

A few minutes that seemed like hours later she wrapped it around me the last time and one of her subordinates brought in a new gown.

"I-I can't." I whispered before she could say anything. She smiled sadly and, after the man averted his eyes, helped me put it on.

"I will leave you alone for the night. Push that button," she pointed, "if you need anything." She patted my hand gently and walked out.

I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. I had to force myself to open them again so I could look at my visitors. Rukia was staring at me with puppy-like eyes. I threw her an exhausted smile.

"You should rest Nee-san."

"So should you two."

"We will sleep when you do." She glanced at the man. "Right Nii-sama?" She added quickly. We both glanced at him and he nodded once without saying anything.

She calls him brother just like she calls me sister. What is that about? Are they truly family?

My eyelids drooped again and Rukia smiled.

"Rest now. We'll be here in the morning." For some reason that brought me comfort and I let myself nod off.

When my eyes opened I was back with Rukia in the room that matched my eyes, the man still in the doorway. It was as if time had stopped for me while I was awake.

"Byakuya," I gasped. Fear struck my heart. What if he doesn't want me back?

Those fears were silenced when he stepped in front of us and fell to his knees. He had so many emotions running through his eyes as he wrapped us tightly in his arms.

"I've missed you two so much!" I sobbed.

"We've missed you too, Kyiomi," Rukia whispered in a strangled voice. While Rukia had her face buried in my hair I reached up and quickly kissed his soft lips.

I woke up with a start.

Byakuya? Who are you?


	3. Chapter 3

I kept glancing at Byakuya, trying to figure out why I felt I should know him before he and Rukia finally began stirring. I quickly averted my eyes, not willing to let him know I had been staring. I glanced at them through my hair to see them both watching me.

"How do you feel Nee-san?"

"A lot better." I stated honestly. "But can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I couldn't keep quiet anymore. I had to know who they were.

"I-I've always called you that?" It came out as a stuttered question.

"Always? We've known each other for a few days." She looked utterly shocked and the same emotion flashed over Byakuya's face.

"Everyone here seems to know my name. And people keep calling me Hime-sama. I can't remember anything! I'm so confused!" My voice continued getting higher and more frantic as I continued talking. By the end there were hot tears streaming down my face.

I was suddenly wrapped in Rukia's gentle embrace. I laid my head on her shoulder and let the sobs run through me.

"What is wrong with me? Why can't I remember anything?" My voice kept breaking.

"What did they do to her Nii-sama?" Rukia questioned. My eyes widened as I pulled back to look at her.

"What are you talking about? They who?" She didn't answer for a while so looked at Byakuya. He had a tight grip on the arms of his chair and his eyes closed, but other than that there was no hint at emotion.

Anger flashed through me and I hissed, "If you won't tell me, I'll find someone who will." And moved to stand up.

"No! Wait." Rukia sighed. "It's just, no one knows what happened while you were there. When we first felt your spiritual pressure, we were hoping you could tell us yourself, but..." She trailed off.

"But that's obviously not going to happen." I finished quietly. I pulled my knees to my chest and covered my face with my hands. It was getting hard to breath. My heart was beating unevenly.

I felt warm and comforting fingers gently attempting to tug my hands away from my face. After a moment I complied, but I turned my head away so I wasn't looking at him. Sadly my wrists were small enough for him to hold them in one hand and use the other to pull my face back to him.

"We'll help you through this if you let us." He said. Rukia nodded in agreement.

Without thinking I threw my arms around his neck and laid my head on his chest. His arms snaked around my waist.

"What am I going to do?" I asked.

"You can stay with us in the Kuchiki manor." Rukia said carefully, not leaving much room for argument. I pulled back to look at Byakuya.

"Of course." He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

"Unohana taicho and the rest of squad four did a very good job healing you, so more than likely today." Rukia answered. "Would you like me to go get her?" I nodded.

While she was out of the room I looked at Byakuya and asked, "Did she say manor?"

"Indeed." After a moment I thought, so what? It's just a huge house.

Rukia walked into the room with the female captain trailing her. She had a sad smile on her lips and her eyes were blank.

"Ready to leave Hi- erm, Kyiomi?"

"Hai." I mumbled. She started unhooking the tubes from my arm.

When she finished I asked, "What about clothes?"

"You have clothes at home still," Rukia smiled. She realized that I didn't know where home was and her smile faltered. "I mean, at the Kuchiki manor." A dark silence filled the room.

"I live there?" I murmured.

"Sometimes. Other times you were with the Roiyaru Kage." I was shocked.

"I haven't been home in a very long time. I'm not welcome there." I said bluntly. I sighed after Rukia flinched.

"Perhaps you should go get settled in at the Kuchiki manor?" Unohana suggested.

I clambered up quickly without a word and swayed on my feet. Byakuya caught me when my knees suddenly buckled.

"Maybe slow down just a little bit." Unohana said carefully.

Then, without warning, a powerful and familiar reiatsu rained down on us.

It feels almost exactly like mine! I realized. What the hell is going on?

Everyone in the room was having a hard time staying on their feet as the spiritual pressure continued to grow. I began letting my body take it in and power me rather than hinder me.

I stood up and faced the source, only to be shocked at seeing the shadow woman from my nightmare.

She looks so sad, the thought surprised me. Why would she be sad?

Her hand moved towards me, but she quickly snatched it back. She shook her head and was enveloped in a black light. It shrunk down to the size of a zanpakuto and when the last of the light was gone that's exactly what it was. The blade was pitch black, the hilt a bright shade af purple, and the guard had a set of tattered angel wings.

"Umm." Was all I could think to say. Everyone was staring at me. I felt self conscious.

"What?" I demanded.

"You might want to pick her up." Rukia murmured.

I slowly made my way to the sword. As I got closer, a humming sound got louder and louder. I stood still for a moment, seeing how she would react. The answer? Not well. A horrible metal on metal sound rang through the air. I grabbed my head out of sheer pain while Rukia yelled, "pick her up!"

The noise didn't stop until I ran forward and grabbed the hilt, which resulted in a much calmer and happier hum.

"You're kind of a bitch aren't you?" I couldn't help it, it slipped.

Just like my queen, she purred in my mind. Her voice was like satin. Thinking she was talking about me I smirked.

So are you-?

Yours? Indeed, my lady.

For how long? I asked. I felt numb.

Since you were born, my lady. That surprised me.

I'm sorry. I-I don't remember.

Do not fret, my queen. Everything will be straightened out soon. And with that she was gone.

She was there for a mere few seconds but I felt so empty now that she was gone again. Exhaustion swept through me and without meaning to, I fell. My limbs were heavy, making it hard to move.

One minute I was laying on my back, looking up at the bright hospital light and the next I was looking at a starry night sky.

Remember Kyiomi. It wasn't a question, but a command from a woman's voice. Remember who you are, and what they did to you. Remember.

Gasping for breath, I came to leaning on someone's chest. My eyes flicked open only to clamp shut against the light. I flinched against the person. One of their hands were entwined with mine while the other was around my waist.

Byakuya.

"What was that?" He demanded albeit gently.

I didn't answer, I wasn't sure what the answer was, instead I tried to stand. I didn't get an inch from the ground before he pulled me against him again.

"Please tell me," he pleaded in my ear, sending butterflies through my stomach. I looked around to see Rukia and Unohana had left the room.

"It was a woman. She was telling me to remember who I am and what they did to me. You know who 'they' are. Don't you?" He tensed.

"Let's go home first." Was his response. I bit my lip. His warm breath was leaving burning trails down my neck. He must have felt me shudder, because he pulled back and pushed me forward gently so he could look at my face.

"What is wrong?" He asked, his voice slightly frantic. A crimson blush rose to my cheeks, heart fluttering. I blinked at turned my head away. He managed to turn me completely around, crushing my arms and torso against his own. My heart stuttered when I realized how close my face was to his.

Why am I acting like a lovestruck teenager?

I managed to get my hands on his chest and blushed deeper at how toned he was. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't push away from him. He suddenly smirked. My heart was in my throat.

I tried hiding my face in my hands, but he pulled them back down to my sides. I settled for burying my face in his shoulder. Let me just say, big mistake!

He smelled incredible. I groaned loudly, causing a chuckle to rumble through his chest. Without warning he lifted me into his arms - earning a yelp from me - and walked out the door.

"Are you ready to go home?"

"More than ready." I smiled. It took us seconds to get there, and I have to say, it was most definitely a manor.

He set me on my feet and walked a few steps ahead of me into the manor.

That's when the realization hit me. He's the head of this family. Oh my God! How could I have not seen that? So stupid!

Walking through the door two female servants ran up to us and bowed.

"Welcome home, Lord Kuchiki." They said in unison.

"Welcome home Hime-sama." Again, in unison. I mentally sighed but didn't respond.

"Show her to her rooms." He commanded coldly.

"Hai. This way M'lady." I followed her without a second glance at Byakuya. I was led down a series of complicated halls before reaching a set of sliding doors.

On the wall above them was the same dripping cresent moon that I'd seen on my scythe. Both doors had a half of Yin and Yang.

I walked through the door to find I was in the same room as before. The servant closed the door behind me and something inside of me broke. I barely made it to the bed before I broke down and cried.

There was so much going through my head. Who am I? What happened to me? Why can't I remember anything?

"God damn it!" I screamed into the pillow.

Suddenly I did remember something. Just one small detail that made me feel like I'd been stabbed again. I had been cast out by the Royaru Kage. I couldn't remember why, or who I was among them, but I was thrown away and told to never return by their royal family.

I forced the thought away and after an eternity my tears were all dried up and I finally drifted off. Luckily I had no dreams, just darkness. No pain, just numbness.

And then, searing pain.

I felt like I was being burnt alive. But it was there and gone in an instant, and I couldn't wake up.

All of the sudden I was being stabbed. I couldn't see my attackers, just their blades. But that was gone too.

Reality came rushing back to me. I sat up screaming, "Stop!"

The Sun was already high in the sky.

I had been asleep for hours but I felt as if I hadn't sleep at all. I sighed, There's no way I'm going back to sleep right now.

I stood and crossed the plush carpet to the white dresser. I pulled out a set of black under clothes, a grey shirt and flowing black pants. I slowly made my way to the bathroom, pulling off the hospital clothes, and turned on the water. I left it almost completely cold, hoping it would wake me up. I sat down under the stream, pulling my knees to my chest, and let it fall over me.

I don't want to cry anymore. It's getting me nowhere.

After a while I stood and turned the water off, stepping out of the shower.

I dressed quickly, no longer wanting to be in the manor more than necessary. I picked up the worn clothes and threw them into a small basket before leaving my room.

"Kyiomi-sama, Lord Kuchiki and Miss Rukia are waiting for you in the dining room." Said a bowing servant.

"Tell them I will not be joining them this morning please." He looked a little shocked, but nodded quickly and ran off.

Now I need to find someone who can help me find myself.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked out of the manor and felt as if I had been hit in the stomach. I felt so completely and totally alone. My steps faltered so I stopped and took a deep breath, shaking my head.

Why am I so weak? I tried to laugh it off. I continued on my way, hoping to find something, anything, to help me. After a while someone called my name.

"Kyiomi-san! Over here!" I looked up to see a red spiky haired man with tribal tattoos.

"Thank you," I said, walking up to him.

"For what?"

"For not calling me Kyiomi-sama." I muttered, beginning to feel embarrassed. A light blush dusted my cheeks.

"Oh. Well, you've never liked being called that so I just thought..." He trailed off while rubbing the back of his neck. I smiled.

"Well I appreciate it." After a few moments of silence I said, "So you wanted to speak with me?"

"Oh! Right. There's someone who wants to see you," he said. He sounded pretty excited. I considered declining, but his excitement cut me short.

"Alright," I murmured.

I'm not sure how long we walked through the woods before we arrived at a small building. On the way, I learned that his name was Renji and we talked about other unimportant things.

The building couldn't have housed more than two people comfortably. Even in its small size it was beautiful, blending carefully with the surrounding nature.

"Where are we, Renji?" I panted.

Renji gave me a sympathetic glance and said, "She is a seer from your kingdom. Her name is Kokari, but she goes by Kari."

"From my kingdom." I whispered.

My face must have shown the hurt I felt for he looked at me and said "I-I'm sorry! I wasn't think-"

"Renji, stop! It's nothing really." I smiled gently and tried not to let my pain show through.

Everyone knows so much more about 'me' than I do.

"Should we go in now Kyiomi?" Renji asked, the excitment back in his voice.

I nodded once, motioning him to lead the way. As we entered the small house, a strong smell hit my like a wall. I doubled over, gagging.

"Kyiomi, are you alright?" Renji demanded, grabbing my arms gently. I tried too quickly to straighten myself and got really dizzy. I leaned against him, breathing heavily.

What the hell is wrong with me..? No, this place. What is this?

After a few moments of waiting in a room with wood walls and a simple woven carpet in the middle of the floor, an extremely tall woman appeared before us.

She had paper white skin and wore close to no clothing. The pieces she did wear were a deep red color, a hard contrast to her body. Her hair, cut to her chin, and her eyelashes were barely a shade darker than her skin, while her eyes were the same flashing color as her garb.

What caught my eye most though, were the many piercings and rings she had. Her naval was pierced by a deep black gem embedded in a small gold ring, an almost perfect match on her nose, and both ears had several adornments about them. Each finger had a ring, most were quite large and not one matching in color or style.

Her blazing eyes skimmed over my body, finally landing on my own violet orbs. It felt as if she were staring through me, making me feel self conscious, but I wouldn't be the one to look away. She took a half step in my direction and suddenly disappeared, only to reappear an instant later right behind me. My body stiffened and it took all I had not to step away.

"So you agreed to speak with me." I heard her voice in my mind and out loud. It wasn't a question but I nodded anyways.

She moved slowly to stand in front of me, her head tilted to the side. I looked into her eyes and her irises seemed to be leaking giving the impression of blood. A thrill ran down my spine.

While I was distracted she grabbed my wrist and cut roughly across my palm. I gasped and finally turned on her.

"What the hell are yo-"

"Do you want my help or not?" She seemed smug in her words.

I stared at her for a moment before responding. "Please, continue." She nodded slowly, a smirk on her face.

"Of course my lady." She grabbed my wrist again and dragged me from the room and through a few dark tunnel like hallways before nearly throwing me down a flight of stairs. I had only a moment to catch myself before going down. The sudden movement caused my broken down body to lock and my breath to catch in my throat.

Renji moved forward and helped me up and neither of us said anything to Kari. I glanced at my still bleeding hand and took a deep breath before I started down the narrow stairwell.

The first few feet down the walls were made of the same wood as the plain room. Around twenty feet down they switched to a black onyx.

Where would she get this much of it? Was my only numb thought on the way down. We continued another forty feet and reached an arched doorway. The door was made up of ten foot deep brown planks and black metal hinges.

Finally I spoke. "What is this place?" My voice broke as if I hadn't had a drink in days.

"This, my lady, is how we will rediscover your past." She purred, pushing the large door open with an eerie creek. She motioned for me to enter with a sweep of her arm to which I quickly complied. I took a few rushed steps inside and was surprised to find a pitch black space. I couldn't explain why, but an overwhelming panic settled over me.

"Kari whe-"

"Be quiet child!" I stopped. "They'll come to you soon enough."

Who will? Is what I so badly wanted ask, instead I began focusing on my breathing and pushing the darkness out of my mind.

"They're coming," she murmured as a cold breeze wafted through the room. Renji gasped almost inaudibly. Despite the temperature of the room I felt warm, almost as if someone had wrapped me in an embrace.

The warmth began receding so I stepped forward to follow it, and as soon as I did the room exploded. A fire erupted in the very center of the floor. It grew steadily, reaching twelve feet tall.

I stared in awe as the fire began flickering through hundreds of different colors. They flashed so quickly that my head began spinning. It was beautiful and confusing all at the same time.

From the corner of my eye I saw Renji fall to his knees and Kari watching me intensely. I paid them no heed for the flames had the whole of my attention.

I had lost all control. Springing towards them I saw something in them change. They began forming actual pictures - people, some new and others known - and eventually scenes. They meant nothing to me no matter how hard I tried to make them. I was being engulfed by the teasing illusions while I attempted to keep sight of one, I did not care which. They were evading me, tormenting me.

"Stop!" I cried, over and over, but they didn't listen. I spun around looking for a way out and saw one scene that was not circling around me. In fact, it wasn't moving at all.

"B-Byakuya?" That is what I saw. Him and I were standing under a full moon on a small bridge built over a koi pond. The area was familiar with all of its beautiful sakura trees. And him.

He was standing behind me with my back facing him. I was holding one of his hands on my own, his arm around my waist. We looked so calm and happy, but it didn't feel real at all.

Suddenly all of it was gone, coming together into one small point suspended in midair. I could feel the energy it was giving off and swore.

"Move!" I shouted at Renji. Faster than the eye could follow it detonated and sent us all flying. I caught myself, flipping back to avoid hitting my head on the ground and wound up hitting the wall instead. I steadied myself wearily and looked around the destroyed room. There was a thick smoke I couldn't see very far through. Before I could begin to move to find Renji, Kari was by my side grabbing my arm and dragging me away.

"Wait, we must find Renji before we leave," I coughed. She shoved me forward and disappeared for a split second only to reappear with him. He had a thin cut on his right cheek but otherwise looked alright.

Kari went to push us forward again but I stopped and turned on her.

"What the hell was that? We could have been killed!"

"Upstairs first," she hissed. I turned and started the long and painstaking trek upstairs, the only thing running through my head was him.

"Byakuya." I whispered as a wave of exhaustion swept over me. My body began to sway.

No, I won't fall. Not here, not in front of this woman, I growled. I snuck a glance at her only to see that she was staring at me with no clear expression. Looking forward again, I took a deep breath and continued upward, all the while trying to clear my mind of everything in hopes of warding off exhaustion. Needless to say, it was not working.

After what seemed like an eternity we had returned to ground level. I was surprised to see that it had become dark out while we were down there. That means we were down there almost a whole day. We could not have really been down there that long, right?

I looked down at my clothes and, to my amazement, saw they were dirty and tattered. I was too tired to really care. A numbness had settled throughout my muscles about a quarter of the way up the staircase, but I didn't mind it. Quite the contrary, I welcomed it.

I looked around the small barren room and unsuccessfully looked for a place to rest. I gave in and dropped on the woven rug. I didn't care that I was in the middle of the floor or that Renji and Kari were staring at me. I didn't care about anything in that moment except Byakuya and who he was.

I sat up and said, "I need to go back to the manor. I need to leave." Kari only continued to stare at me, amusement twinkling in her dangerous eyes.

"You aren't leaving yet are you? What could be more important to you than revealing what is lost?" She purred. I clenched my teeth, looking away.

"Nothing," I replied evenly. "Now, what was that?" I tried to change the subject. I could see that she knew what I was doing but she said nothing more on the matter, for which I was very grateful.

"There is so much forgotten and so little patience to teach." Mock sadness was laced throughout her voice.

I didn't care anymore, I needed to know "What is your problem with me? What have I done to make you this way towards me?" She seemed surprised, as if no one had ever spoken to her that way. Her eyes widened for a moment before narrowing into slits.

"What right have you to speak to me that way? I agree to help you during this difficult time and you dare to disrespect me so?" She was nearly screaming by the end, her spiritual pressure was weighing down on me heavily but I refused to back down.

"I have done nothing wrong! I appreciate what you have done but I deserve to know why you treat me this way!"

"If you choose to continue in this demeanor you may leave!" Her voice echoed through my mind as well as shook the walls. I was stunned by her words but it was dulled by the anger I felt.

"Wait, we need your help," Renji, who I had all but forgotten was here, stated.

"Evidently she needs nothing I have to offer! I no longer have a reason to be here. Goodbye Renji, goodbye Hime-sama." She snarled the last bit. She looked at us for a moment longer before disappearing.

If she truly hails from the same place as I, perhaps I don't want to remember.


	5. Chapter 5

It was nearly two hours after the whole ordeal with Kari and I was sitting under a sakura tree by the manor. My feelings were all mixed up inside of me and I didn't know how to fix them, but the trees had a calming effect.

Everything was telling me that I should love Byakuya Kuchiki and that in itself had me confused.

He was extremely handsome, that much was very clear, but he didn't exactly have the personality to match. He was always being so cold and distant towards everyone, even his sister. Granted he had been very sweet towards me - but only when he thought no one would notice. I could not decide how I felt about that. I wanted so badly to believe that he lived that way for a reason, but I had to admit - it hurt. If I don't give him the chance, I'll never know, I told myself.

How should I feel about him? He's a perfect stranger... Isn't he? I let out a wordless shout towards the surrounding trees out of frustration and lack of a better idea. As soon as the noise escaped my lips I could feel someone's eyes on me. My body stiffened as I stood slowly, ready to defend myself. I spun around to see a woman with long strawberry blond hair, pouting lips and huge breasts that were uncomfortably close to my face. I tried to take a step back, but pulled me into a rib crushing embrace.

"Kyiomi-chan!" She shouted. "It's so good to see you again!" She finally released me. I wasn't sure what to say. I had no memory of this woman, but she seemed so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for her.

She paused, a look of great sadness flashing across her features. It only lasted for a moment before she smiled cheerfully again and said, "Forgive me. I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, lieutenant of Squad 10." She bowed slightly.

"Kyiomi Dākumūn. It's a pleasure to meet you" I responded, bowing in return. When I told her my last name, I saw the corner of her mouth quirk downwards for a split second. I didn't say anything, although I couldn't help but wonder.

"So, may I ask what you're so here?" I asked.

"Oh, just wandering," she replied dismissively.

"Around the Kuchiki manor?" I giggled. She blushed and chuckled nervously.

"Oh, well I, uh..." She trailed off. I stared at her while trying not to laugh at the look on her face. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright and see if you wanted to go get a drink with me and a few others." It came out rushed. I was surprised.

"I'm okay. I could be worse," I replied slowly. "That actually sounds nice, I'd love to join you. Thank you, Rangiku-san." I smiled.

She grinned. "Great! Let's go," she squealed while grabbing my hand and shunpoed away from the manor. When we stopped we were standing in front of a plain white building that I could only guess was a pub. I could here a faint hum from inside.

"Rangiku!" A slurred voice called out. I turned to see three men coming out from the building and walking towards us.

One was completely bald. He had a red line extending upward from the corner of both eyes. Another had chin length violet-blue hair. There were some sort of feathers extending from both his right eyebrow and the lashes on the same side. The two from his brow were a light shade of red, the others were yellow. The third man was Renji.

"Kyiomi, this is Ikkaku Madarame, Yumichika Ayasegawa and you know Renji Abarai," Rangiku introduced us. "Third and fifth seat of Squad 11 and lieutenant of Squad 6," she finished.

"It's nice to meet you," I inclined my head. Yumichika smiled in return while Ikkaku grunted.

"Let's get back inside," Ikkaku commanded. We all nodded our assent. Rangiku grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside with her.

The moment the door was opened I was hit by a wall of alcoholic fumes and the odor of tightly packed bodies. There was no music playing but there was a loud buzz of conversation as everyone wanted to be heard by their companions.

I was led to a table where another man was already seated. He wore a straw hat and a pink, floral ladies kimono over a white haori. He had long, wavy brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. He was draped lazily over his chair, his eyes half lidded and a huge grin curled his lips. There was already a cup in his hand and a bottle of sake on the table.

"Shunsui Kyoraku of Squad 8, this is Kyiomi, Kyiomi this is Kyoraku taichou," Rangiku said, sounding a bit impatient. He didn't seen fazed at being introduced, so I smiled.

Before I could get a word out he gestured to the chair beside him and, with an almost psychotic grin, asked, "Care for a drink?"

The hours flew by smoothly. The people around me were easy to talk to, especially as we became filled with more sake. I was drinking it as quickly as it was placed in front of me, and Rangiku made sure there was always a drink in front of me. Not that I minded. In fact, I welcomed the burn it sent down my throat.

I watched and laughed when countless men approached to flirt with Rangiku, and Shunsui flirted with just as many women, all with the flush of alcohol in their cheeks. Many looked afraid to talk with me, but those who did were good company. Men and women alike were flirting unabashedly and at the very least, it was entertaining.

I wasn't sure how long we'd been here, or what time it was when Matsumoto finally asked me if I was ready to leave.

"You can come to the barracks with me," she grinned brightly.

"Wait, what if your captain doesn't like me?" I asked. Shunsui and Rangiku both laughed.

"He doesn't like anyone," she jeered. "Come on."

"I'll walk with you," Kyoraku told us, his seemingly ever present grin still in place. I moved to stand and almost fell on my face. My companions started laughing and I couldn't help but join in, tears streaming down my face when I couldn't stop. It felt good.

After being pulled to my feet, Rangiku linked her arm through mine and pulled me towards the door. I made sure to grab Shunsui's hand when he stopped to talk to a young woman, giving him no choice but to stay with us.

"Kyiomi-chan!" He whined. "I was just going to chat," he said, feigning innocence.

"Yeah, and I'm a unicorn," I responded dryly. He tried to pout, but failed to stop the grin that appeared. He threw his arm around my shoulders. It was overly warm, but it still felt nice. I leaned contentedly his side as we walked.

Rangiku chatted idly about things I wasn't paying attention to, but she didn't seem to mind. A few people that were still out would stop and wave at us. One man, probably as drunk as we were, actually had the audacity to grab Matsumoto's waist and ask for a kiss.

"She can't, she's busy," I said, right before pulling her lips to mine. She had a sweet taste to her once you got past the sake. Rangiku was too stunned to react, but the men in our company were both staring intently as if trying to take a mental picture. When the stranger moved to take a step forward, Shunsui threw his arm around my shoulders again, causing me to lose my grip on Rangiku, and steered us away from him. I heard a whimper from behind us.

"Thanks for the show, Kyiomi-san," he said, smiling and winking lazily. I grinned in response. When I glanced back at the other half of our "show," she was blushing, but this time it had nothing to do with the sake she'd indulged in.

After a while we were standing in front of what I assumed was the tenth division barracks. I could barely stay on my feet, but Rangiku managed to drag me inside without me falling on my face.

"I'll be taking me leave now, ladies," Shunsui drawled before walking away. We waved in response.

"Come on, Kyiomi!" And after a second, "Oh, Taichooou!" She barreled through a wooden door leading into the office of a young looking shinigami. He had beautiful turquoise eyes and spiked white hair.

The look on his face switched from annoyance -towards his lieutenant- to shock -towards me.

"You... You got her drunk on her first real night back?" He shouted.

"Oh, lighten up, Taichou. She was tired of life and wanted to have a good time with her best friend. Me, being said best friend, had to help her out. You should be proud, Taichou!" She finished proudly. I watched his teeth clench and his brow twitch in response to her antics.

He was about to begin speaking when Rangiku continued. "Kyoraku Taichou was there with us too, so you can't get mad." She stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Of course he was," The young Taichou growled. "He's always there when drinking is involved." Matsumoto merely shrugged it off before pulling me to the only couch in the room.

"You need to take her home."

"I told her she could stay with me."

"Kuchiki is going to kill you."

"Why do you say that, Taichou?" She asked, trying to sound innocent. He was glaring daggers at her, but he made no further comment. I wasn't sure what to make of the cryptic exchange, but my muddled brain couldn't think too hard about it.

"I can leave if you don't want me here, Taichou," I told him, a pang of sadness bursting through me. I tried to stand only to have Matsumoto pull me down against her side again and throwing a glare to him. He actually looked shocked.

"Wha- what? No, that wasn't what I was saying! I-I just meant that-"

"What Hitsugaya-taichou meant was that there's gonna be a lot of people upset because you got drunk with me, including Kuchiki-taichou," Matsumoto finished, winking slyly.

"Why should anyone be upset?" I asked. The two shared a distinctly uncomfortable look that irritated me to no end, even through the haze of alcohol.

"I should be going now," I growled, standing up.

"Kyiomi-" Matsumoto began.

"Thank you for tonight. I'll see you later Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taichou." I started walking away before someone grabbed by wrist. I didn't look back to see who it was when I pulled away, I didn't care.

"Kyiomi-sama, let us walk you back to Kuchiki's place," Hitsugaya said quickly.

"Goodnight," I snapped before storming off. People were staring at me as I stomped through the Squad ten barracks to the outside, but I paid them no heed. I had no clue where I was going, nor did I care. I just wanted to find a place where I could clear my head and figure out what I was going to do with myself.

I started in the direction of the manor, but stopped around the sakura trees that I had been under eariler that day. I let myself sink to the ground, lying on my back, staring up at the many beautiful stars I could see through the branches. The sight was dazzling, and had a soothing influence on my mind.

It wasn't quite soothing enough. There were too many "What ifs" running through my head.

I... I need to do something, but what? How can I bring back the girl, the princess, that all of these people know? What if I don't want to find her again? What if I just don't belong here anymore? Or, what if I am unable to find her and bring her back again?

"What if I can't?" I whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

"Kyiomi-sama? Is everything alright?" I raised my head long enough to see an older man with greying, shoulder length hair standing a few feet away. He wasn't dressed in servant robes, so I wasn't sure what he was doing wandering outside this late at night.

"No." I stated simply.

"What can I do to help you?" My anger flared at his question.

"I don't know, what can you do? Can you bring back this person that everyone is looking for? Can you make me remember my life?" I snapped. He flinched and looked away. I instantly regretted my words.

"I... I apologize. That was out of line." He turned towards me again.

"Kyiomi-sama, no one is blaming you for how you feel. We know it must be hard, and we want to help you however we can." He had a serious and determined look on his face. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't believe there was a way to help me, not after Kari. I chose to instead stay quiet.

He bowed, sighed almost inaudibly and murmured "Excuse me." I nodded.

At this point in time, my mind was entirely clear from the haze of the night and I was thinking more clearly. The annoyance and frustration I had become accustomed to in the past day or so settled back in its place. It was like a deep, dark cloud shrouding my mind.

I stood up, brushing the grass from my clothes, and sauntered towards the manor. I took one last look at the night sky before entering.

As expected, there were two servant girls standing near the entrance. As soon as I had the door open they were bowing towards me. "Kyiomi-sama."

"Please, take me to Rukia's rooms." I wasn't sure why that's where I chose to go, but they didn't seem at all surprised at the request.

"This way, my lady," one murmured. I nodded and followed her down a series of halls, taking a mental note of where we went so I could find my way back on my own. When the girl - she did not look old enough to be called a woman - stopped in front of a closed door, I could only assume we were in front of Rukia's room.

She knelt before it and called out softly to the room's occupant. "Rukia-sama, there is someone to see you." After a few seconds had passed, I could here her moving around the room before the door slid open.

Rukia stood there, hair tousled and eyes clouded with sleep. They cleared as they landed on me. "Nee-san?"

"Sorry it's so late, Rukia," I mumbled, unable to look her in the eye. She blinked once and then grinned at me.

"You used to do this all the time. Come in." It was my turn to blink at her.

"I... I did? You must have gotten really tired of me." I could feel a blush creeping into my cheeks.

"Not at all," she laughed, still grinning. "Now, are you going to come in, or continue standing in the doorway?"

"Oh. Thank you." I tried to smile back. I guess it didn't work as well as I'd hoped, because she furrowed her brow.

"What's wrong, Nee-san?" She asked, closing the door. I chewed the inside of my lip, trying to figure out what to say.

"I don't know who I am, or who anyone else is. I don't know what to do," I gushed. She grabbed my hand and guided me to the bed, pulling me down beside her.

"I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now, but... I just want you to know that I'll do anything in my power to help you overcome this." She laid her head on my shoulder.

That was much like what the servant had said to me. But, why? Who was I that made these people care so much? Was it just because I was a princess? Or... did they truly just care?

"Thank you," I said earnestly. Suddenly, I just felt tired, drained. My eyelids drooped heavily and I leaned into her. Rukia chuckled.

"You should sleep. You've earned it."

"I don't feel like I have earned anything. I've only gotten drunk and-" I gasped.

She sat up straight. "And?"

"I think I kissed Rangiku tonight," I whispered. Her eyes widened, lips parting as if to say something only to close again.

"Sleep," she finally muttered. "We can deal with that tomorrow."

"Will it be bad?"

"Well, I don't know yet. Nii-sama..." She trailed off. In all honesty, I hadn't even thought of him. And even though I shouldn't care, the thought of him being mad at me or hurt because of me crushed me inside.

"It was for a good reason," I tried sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"We were walking back to her barracks and some random idiot grabbed her and asked her for a kiss. She looked uncomfortable so I decided to help." Rukia looked shocked.

"W-well, that's good, I suppose. It could have been under worse circumstances for you."

Worse for me? Meaning what? I was too tired to ask at this point, so I just nodded.

"You can talk to him tomorrow. It'll be fine, I'm sure." She didn't sound very confident, but it was all I had at the moment.

We both yawned then, deciding it was time to go to sleep, and laid down.

"Goodnight, Rukia," I murmured. "Thank you." She was already asleep.

When I awoke the next morning, there was a slight pounding in my head, the sun was just barely shining in the sky, and Rukia was still beside me but beginning to stir. Her eyes fluttered open and she stretched her arms above her head before turning and letting a smile grace her features.

"Good morning, Nee-san," she chirped.

"Good morning," I returned her smile. She moved to sit up, rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. She stood, stretching one last time and walked to one of the two piles of clothes sitting on the small table in the corner of her room.

"We should get ready to meet Nii-sama for breakfast." My blood ran cold as the night's memories ran through my head. I wasn't sure if I was ready to face him yet.

It's now or never.

"Okay. I need to shower first," I choked out. She must have also remembered what I had to her, because her eyes widened for a minebt, but she only nodded. She handed me the second bundle and nudged me towards the bathroom.

"Take your time." I laughed nervously.

I walked in, not rushing in the slightest. I turned in the water and undressed slowly, not paying much attention, distracted by my thoughts.

Will he care about what happened? Should he care? Why do I want him to care?

I let the warm water wash over me, carefully washing out my hair. This was somewhat calming to my mind, but not enough to erase the thoughts.

More importantly, what am I supposed to do if he does react badly? It was still crushing. I didn't want him to hurt, especially because of me. I wanted to stop it however I could.

I took a deep breath and stepped out, steeling myself for whatever may happen next.

I dressed quickly, nerves settling in my stomach all the while, and met Rukia in the hall.

"You waited for me."

"I wasn't sure if you would want to go in alone," she replied, squeezing my hand. "Are you ready?"

Another deep breath. "Let's go." A servant silently pushed the doors open for us, bowing as we passed.

I'll never get used to that. It made me uncomfortable, I didn't care who I was.

The low set table was centered in the room, so the first thing I noticed was the absence of Byakuya.

"He is always the first one awake. I don't understand," Rukia muttered. Turning to the man who had opened the door for us, she asked, "Excuse me, where is Nii-sama?"

"Kuchiki-sama has gone early this morning."

"Did he seem alright?" I blurted.

He thought for a moment. "I can't say for sure. I only saw him walk out the door. I apologize, my lady."

"Oh. No need to apologize. Thank you." He nodded and closed the door. I collapsed heavily on the closest cushion.

"Why would he leave? There is no possible way he could have heard already, right? It was so late. He should have been asleep already, right?" I couldn't stop talking. I was confused, hurt and all around lost.

"Maybe it was just a coincidence," Rukia tried.

"Really? How often does he leave early?" I muttered.

"W-well, maybe there was a captain's meeting," she stuttered.

"Rukia," I hissed, "Stop. Please." Her mouth snapped shut. "Even you don't believe that."

"But he could be in a meeting! They have been getting called randomly more and more lately."

I wanted so badly to believe her, to believe Byakuya hadn't just walked away, but I couldn't. Her words made sense. He was a high ranking man here, he was bound to called away at odd times, but my mind wouldn't accept it. I didn't know what to believe.

Conflicting images ran through my head. Fighting Unohana and her patching me up. Rukia hugging me tightly and her blade held to my throat. Byakuya holding me close and him pushing me away.

I stood from my cushion, clutching at my skull with a sharp gasp.

I saw Rukia take a step towards me. "Stay away from me!" I screamed, moving until my back was pressed to the wall.

I was struggling to breathe while being bombarded by these pictures. Every one passing felt real, as if I was living it right here. My tenuous hold on reality began slipping through my fingers. Would I ever be able to keep it?

I almost didn't notice when something snapped inside of me and my reiatsu flared to life, knocking Rukia off of her feet. I didn't notice when the door was flung open and Byakuya flew to my side, only finding out when he pulled me against his chest.

I didn't fight him as he held me. I didn't have the energy, and I didn't want to anyways. I needed so badly for this to be real and not just another dream.

I clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping me alive.

"Is this real?" I whispered. "You're truly here?"

"Yes," he murmured. I felt my reiatsu die down around me, no longer shoving against everything it could reach. Byakuya relaxed a bit and Rukia climbed to her feet again.

"I don't know what's real, Byakuya. What am I supposed to do? How do I get past this?" His face held a thoughtful expression.

Rukia spoke. "Maybe... Maybe you should try going to the Roiyaru Kage." Her voice was quiet, as if she wasn't sure if that was the correct answer.

"They don't want me there, and I don't want to be there," I growled.

"If they can help you, you should try," she argued.

"Why would they help me?" I demanded. "They do not want me there."

"Why do you think that?" Her voice was strained, trying not to yell. I was shocked. I still had no idea why the name sparked such hatred inside of me.

Byakuya must have seen something in my face, because he said "It is alright. You will get through this, no matter how it happens."

"I'm sorry." They both turned to look at me, confusion clear on Rukia's face, Byakuya was more subtle.

"Sorry? For what?" He asked.

"For making things so difficult. For hurting you. For everything."

"None of this is your fault, Nee-san."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't change much. I still don't know know anything about this place, or either of you, but I feel some buried connection. I feel safer with you around and I don't like seeing you hurt. As a result of the latter, I don't think I can stay here anymore."


End file.
